Prosper, in London, is developing Alfie – a robot butler who could, it claims, “cook breakfast, clean your office, make your bed, and more”. Engineered Arts in Cornwall has a lifelike humanoid robot hardware platform which can be software customised and Humanoid, also in London, is going for robots with industrial applications.
With the PM becoming a bit of a tech tart, I see an opportunity to get the government propaganda machine revved up to promote the UK as a ‘humanoid robot superpower’ in the language the government PRs like to use.
The analysts have obligingly come up with stratospheric forecasts for the market – $36 billion by 2035 says Goldman Sachs, $7 trillion by 2050 says Citigroup.
I get Greaser on the burner blower. “I’m looking for something HMG could get behind in humanoid robots,” I tell him.
“Scunthorpe Consorts” says Greaser.
“What are they?”
“Personal companions, Ed.”
“You mean sex dolls.”
“Yes, Ed.”
“HMG can’t support that – the French government might.”
“Mention it to their ambassador, Ed.”
In the meantime, I’m working on persuading No10 to install a robotic doorman to show the world our superpower status in the tech, and have procured a charming and attractive robot receptionist for my office who greets visitors and gets them a cup of coffee.
She’s much more agreeable than my previous receptionist, and when my visitors ask where they can get one like her, I recommend them to the manufacturer who pays me a most generous commission.
